Blessings

I have to take a minute and write down some thoughts.
Over the past few months I have felt terrible, and have done so very little for myself. I have had a hard time cooking, or eating for that matter. I have hardly cleaned anything. I have left dishes, and clothes all over the house, because I really just felt too bad to pick up after myself.
I would come home, and either pretty much go to bed, or sit on the couch, and not get up again.
I have been so blessed in my life. It took me a while, but I have found the most caring, compassionate man. And he loves me too!
Ben has been doing everything for me. He has been cleaning, cooking, and pretty much waiting on me hand and foot. While a few times I think he may have wanted to say something to the effect of are you ever going to get up? He never did. He has made these past few icky months so much better.
I don’t know what I have done to deserve such a man, but I love him, and I am going to keep him!

I have never been a nervous nellie, but with having two babies growing inside of me, and only seeing the doctor once a month, it has been so hard to not worry. Even though there have not been any problems at all (other than the normal ones!) I still find myself freaking out a little. Ben once again has been the voice of reason letting me know that it is all going to be alright. No matter how it turns out. He wants everything to be ok too, and yet takes the time and patience to settle me down, and reassure me that we can handle it.
I have been especially worried the past few weeks, because I have been feeling one of the babies moving around quite a bit, and have not been feeling the other. Plus, I have been on the web too much! There are so many stories out there of ladies losing one or both of their babies, and it is always in the back of my mind! And there is not really a period of time where it seems safe. The stories range from 6 weeks to 36 weeks. So I hope I can get a handle on things! I don’t think I can handle worrying for the rest of my pregnancy!
So I pray everyday and know that what will happen will happen, but pray that we will have the strength to handle whatever comes!
I do stand back in awe at the blessings in my life. My husband who I love more than I could ever imagine, my family who is a constant example and strength to me. My husbands family who I am so incredibly grateful for. A great job, with an awesome boss who works harder than anyone I know. Friends who while they are far away still care, and keep in touch, and I do miss them everyday. Of course I cannot forget my dog! Butch is a constant companion and is always happy to see me.
I just was a bit overwhelmed today with how I felt, and how grateful I am for everything I have that I never thought I would. So I had to write it down.