Ok, so this is a sarcastic post...It is 4:30 in the am, and I have yet to get any sleep. I am tired, miserable, and very irritable.
I have never been a person who had trouble sleeping consistently, and I would never be up all night just trying. I have tried every room in the house (except the babies room) to find a place where I can sleep. I have tried the couch, the lazyboy part of the couch, the futon, the spare bed with my maternity pillows, my own bed with all my other pillows, and have made the rounds twice tonight. No sleep.
Other than being extremely pregnant and miserable anyway the drugs I am on have these cool side effects.
- insomnia
- flushing
- heartburn (BAD!!!)
- rapid heart rate
- difficulty breathing
- constipation
- increase in frequency of urination.
Hmm...The deck is stacked against me here. Not only do I have most of these things just by being pregnant, now I get extra for just trying to keep these babies in for a few more weeks. (by way of procardia)And all of them are stopping me from sleeping.
I asked Ben earlier this evening if he thought there was ever a woman not in labor that went into the hospital screaming at everyone that she needed to get her baby out! Labor or not the baby needed to be delivered that day!!!
Because I think I am getting closer and closer to doing that!
I know that most every woman I know has been to this point, I just wish that with twins I did not have to get here 4 weeks ahead of the curve. Thinking about 4 more weeks of this is about enough to make me lose my mind.
And more than anything...I wish I could breathe. There is nothing like not being able to breathe.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
From strict to modified back to strict
This has been a roller coaster! On Wednesday I was having pretty painful contractions, but I had been for the past few evenings, so we decided to just rough it out, and until I had another symptom I was just going to go to bed. This evening the contractions were pretty painful, but still far enough apart that I was ok with just going to bed. So I went to bed, and could not sleep. By this time I was cramping too, and my back started hurting more than it has in weeks, and just killed when I would have a contraction. So I got up and thought to myself I was just focusing on the pain laying in bed, and I needed to do something to distract myself so I got up and picked up a book I had been reading and started to read. It was working somewhat, but then the restless leg syndrome then took over. I could not stand it. So I got back up started a very warm bath of 4 inches of water (just for my legs) and got in for a few minutes rubbed my legs down with some oil and lavender to relax. I also rubbed some on my belly to help with the itchiness there too. I got out, was relaxed, the contractions weren't so bad, my legs were not restless too bad anymore, so off to bed I went. I was very tired, and fell asleep. But I kept waking up with painful contractions, but each time I was able to go back to sleep. Then about well gotta be honest I don't know what time it was. I think around 3? I woke up in pain contracting, when the contraction went away, the cramps came back, and the back pain. It had also gotten to the point where I was sure I was going to vomit.
So...I laid there for a little while longer just not moving hoping that it had just been a bad contraction and that I would relax again. (and I didn't want to move too much not knowing if I would make it to the toilet in time to throw up in my current slow moving position!)
It did not get better, in fact just kept getting worse. The contractions had started to be about 4 minutes apart, so once again off to Labor and Delivery we went.
My doctor happened to be the doctor on call. Last time we went in we got a shot of morphine and it stopped the contractions dead in their tracks. So they tried that first this time since nothing else seemed to work the last time.
That morphine did not work to stop them this time, and you will have to forgive me at this point in the story I was a little drugged and am not sure I remember it all...
The nurse had done a cervical exam and said I was dilated to a 1cm, the doc came in not too long after that and did a cervical exam of his own and said I was dilated to a 1, and 80% effaced. With a show of blood (sorry TMI...)
So that is when I told him I did not want mag again. He had them admit me and start me on pain meds, and a fluids IV. I got moved to another room, and by this time it was morning (This room had a window) and I could see light coming in.
At this point I really have a foggy memory, but I know the doc came back in told my husband to go home that there was nothing for him to do but wait around and not get any sleep. And that I would probably be in the hospital for at least 4 days.
So Ben waited until I was situated and then went home to grab a few hours of shut eye.
The rest of the hospital stay was kind of a blur as well. I am not sure if it was the pain meds (probably not I don't think they were that strong) or if I was just really tired from not getting any sleep.
But I knew that my doctor was leaving on vacation on the weekend, and was going to stop by and see me hopefully on his lunch hour to see where I was with all of this.
He came by about 2, did another cervical exam, and I had not dialated anymore, and my cervix was the same, so he said they could discharge me. Told me he really thought I was going to have these babies this time, but that I had a cervix of steel and that it was not giving up without a fight! That my uterus wanted them out, but that my cervix was fighting back. He asked if I had an appointment with one of the other doctors in the office this next week which I do, and said good keep that appointment and I hope that you do not have these kiddos while I am gone!
He also said that the modified bed rest that I was on last week may have been too modified and he wanted me to strict en it up some. So I am now on "strict" bedrest with visits to the bathroom allowed (shower and tub included in moderation) and that I could get up to refill my water and get my pills and a sandwich that had already been made out of the fridge, but that almost all my day needed to be spent in "rest" So not that I really even did anything last week, but even those small steps like make my own sandwich have been revoked!
Good News...I have made it to the golden week of 34!!!! That was our ultimate goal after 28. So while I would love these babies to come out more around 37 weeks (ok...have to modify that statement a bit..I am miserable, and I want these babies out, but I also want no NICU stay...so...) While I would love to keep these babies in until week 37, I am soooo glad I have made it to 34.
So...I laid there for a little while longer just not moving hoping that it had just been a bad contraction and that I would relax again. (and I didn't want to move too much not knowing if I would make it to the toilet in time to throw up in my current slow moving position!)
It did not get better, in fact just kept getting worse. The contractions had started to be about 4 minutes apart, so once again off to Labor and Delivery we went.
My doctor happened to be the doctor on call. Last time we went in we got a shot of morphine and it stopped the contractions dead in their tracks. So they tried that first this time since nothing else seemed to work the last time.
That morphine did not work to stop them this time, and you will have to forgive me at this point in the story I was a little drugged and am not sure I remember it all...
The nurse had done a cervical exam and said I was dilated to a 1cm, the doc came in not too long after that and did a cervical exam of his own and said I was dilated to a 1, and 80% effaced. With a show of blood (sorry TMI...)
So that is when I told him I did not want mag again. He had them admit me and start me on pain meds, and a fluids IV. I got moved to another room, and by this time it was morning (This room had a window) and I could see light coming in.
At this point I really have a foggy memory, but I know the doc came back in told my husband to go home that there was nothing for him to do but wait around and not get any sleep. And that I would probably be in the hospital for at least 4 days.
So Ben waited until I was situated and then went home to grab a few hours of shut eye.
The rest of the hospital stay was kind of a blur as well. I am not sure if it was the pain meds (probably not I don't think they were that strong) or if I was just really tired from not getting any sleep.
But I knew that my doctor was leaving on vacation on the weekend, and was going to stop by and see me hopefully on his lunch hour to see where I was with all of this.
He came by about 2, did another cervical exam, and I had not dialated anymore, and my cervix was the same, so he said they could discharge me. Told me he really thought I was going to have these babies this time, but that I had a cervix of steel and that it was not giving up without a fight! That my uterus wanted them out, but that my cervix was fighting back. He asked if I had an appointment with one of the other doctors in the office this next week which I do, and said good keep that appointment and I hope that you do not have these kiddos while I am gone!
He also said that the modified bed rest that I was on last week may have been too modified and he wanted me to strict en it up some. So I am now on "strict" bedrest with visits to the bathroom allowed (shower and tub included in moderation) and that I could get up to refill my water and get my pills and a sandwich that had already been made out of the fridge, but that almost all my day needed to be spent in "rest" So not that I really even did anything last week, but even those small steps like make my own sandwich have been revoked!
Good News...I have made it to the golden week of 34!!!! That was our ultimate goal after 28. So while I would love these babies to come out more around 37 weeks (ok...have to modify that statement a bit..I am miserable, and I want these babies out, but I also want no NICU stay...so...) While I would love to keep these babies in until week 37, I am soooo glad I have made it to 34.
Friday, June 17, 2011
From Strict Bedrest to Moderate Bedrest
My appointment with my OB yesterday went well. My cervix is holding steady at right around 1.3cm, and it is still closed up tight.
So my OB told me that since I was doing well, that I could start doing some things. So I dont have to lay around all day and be served. Which as good as that sounds...it really does suck!
So I am now able to go get my own water refilled, if I am hungry get my own snack, and when it is time to take a pill I can go get it. Before I had to yell for Ben, or just wait until he came around and ask for all those things.
The doctor told us that I could do light things like go to a movie, or take a short walk in the park (which I laughed at him since I can hardly make it from my bed to the couch with as much pain and pressure as I have)
But so far it looks like things are going the way we want them to. I am still not going to do very much... first off because what if things have stayed the way they are because I have not been up and about? And second, I want to keep these girls in here for a quite a bit longer, so I am going to take it easy and not tempt fate.
So my OB told me that since I was doing well, that I could start doing some things. So I dont have to lay around all day and be served. Which as good as that sounds...it really does suck!
So I am now able to go get my own water refilled, if I am hungry get my own snack, and when it is time to take a pill I can go get it. Before I had to yell for Ben, or just wait until he came around and ask for all those things.
The doctor told us that I could do light things like go to a movie, or take a short walk in the park (which I laughed at him since I can hardly make it from my bed to the couch with as much pain and pressure as I have)
But so far it looks like things are going the way we want them to. I am still not going to do very much... first off because what if things have stayed the way they are because I have not been up and about? And second, I want to keep these girls in here for a quite a bit longer, so I am going to take it easy and not tempt fate.
Babies positions
So I really want to avoid having to have a c-section, but baby A is not cooperating very well with that plan. This is how they have been for the past few weeks. (I made this picture on paint...lol And yes I am a bit bored, but it ended up so cute!)
Baby A is transverse with her bum covering my cervix, and baby b is vertex. with her head pretty much in baby A's lap.
I do have to say having a baby laying sideways across the very bottom of my belly is a bit uncomfortable. I cant really sit up with out squishing her...
Baby A is transverse with her bum covering my cervix, and baby b is vertex. with her head pretty much in baby A's lap.
I do have to say having a baby laying sideways across the very bottom of my belly is a bit uncomfortable. I cant really sit up with out squishing her...
Sunday, June 12, 2011
And....Once again
Needed to go to Labor and Delivery again last night to get contractions to stop. We went in, and since I am already on the max dose of Procardia, they could not give me any of this, so they started me on a fluid IV, and gave me a shot of terbutaline which did not stop contractions. They checked the cervix, and they found very little change. They then talked about putting me on Mag agin. Which I really did not want.
So the nurse talked to the doctor and said that they could use Morphine to relax the uterus and perhaps stop contractions.
So they gave me a shot of that, and it worked (apperantly, I was a bit out of it at that point.) But they had me hooked up to the contractions machine and had not seen any for a few hours. So they sent me home. It has taken all day for the morphine to wear off, and it still really hasn't completely I am still feeling a bit drugged.
I sure wish that these contractions would stop coming back.
Here is a picture right before we went to the hospital last night. (amid contractions...) at week 32.
So the nurse talked to the doctor and said that they could use Morphine to relax the uterus and perhaps stop contractions.
So they gave me a shot of that, and it worked (apperantly, I was a bit out of it at that point.) But they had me hooked up to the contractions machine and had not seen any for a few hours. So they sent me home. It has taken all day for the morphine to wear off, and it still really hasn't completely I am still feeling a bit drugged.
I sure wish that these contractions would stop coming back.
Here is a picture right before we went to the hospital last night. (amid contractions...) at week 32.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Friday Doc Visit
Just a quick update. We went to the doctor today for our weekly checkup, and were told that it seems the cervix might be a bit shorter, but it is still closed up tight. So no hospitalization for me yet!! WooHoo. But back to bed rest at home.
So thankful for that.
So thankful for that.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Baby Room
Now on official bedrest, I have some time on my hands to update my blog… It has been about all things baby lately, but I cant help it! My life has been consumed by these two little girls growing inside of me.
So here is some more, but maybe a little less drama packed as my last week!
When Ben and I found out we were pregnant, we started thinking about our home, and how we were going to fit 2 more little people in it. When we moved here both of us were pretty bummed. We had a great house in TX, and it would have had PLENTY of room. In fact, we already had a “baby room” that would have just needed to be done up a little.
Here is a little different story. Apparently houses in TX are cheaper than houses in WA. We had to pay quite a bit more money for less house. So back to the dilemma. We really do have enough space, we are just picky and want what we want!
We have 2 bedrooms plus the master. Ben was using one as his office, and the other one is a guest bedroom. And we don’t live by family, and we really like them to visit. So we did not want to eliminate our guest bedroom. So we had to figure out where to put all the office furniture. So we have a huge desk/organizer that took up two whole walls in the bedroom, another smaller desk, and two roller chairs to fit somewhere else. So we reorganized the living room by adding all the bookshelves that were in the dining room, and moving the table a little closer to the door to be able to move the office furniture into the dining room. It is tight, but it all works.
So then it came time to fix up the office to be the new guest bedroom. Little did we know when we started…it became a huge job.
We knew that the previous owners had let their dogs sleep with their girl, and their dogs I do not think got “let outside” enough, because of the smell in that room. It had never been TERRIBLE, we just knew that we wanted to do what we could to eliminate it. So Ben cleaned the carpets…once…twice…three times, and all I can say is cleaning the carpets actually made it worse. So we had no choice we had to rip out the carpet and replace it.
Since the floor is also wood, we then had to buy some sort of “special paint” to paint the floor to make sure that the urine did not then come up from the floor boards into the new carpet.
We were always planning on re-painting the room because it was a nasty shade of blue (if pepto bismal was blue…the color of this room is what I would imagine it would look like).
BEFORE
So Ben works his butt off getting the carpet ripped out, the stuff painted on the floor, then we went and picked out paint for the walls, and he got that painted. (He is such a stud!)
AFTER
So in the meantime, we have been accumulating baby gear, and had to move all the stuff out of the office room into the spare room. So the spare room is a heaping pile of stuff!
SPARE BEDROOM
And the garage is a heaping pile of stuff too! So I have added some pics to show our before, our after, and our mess!
GARAGE
We are hoping that we can get the babies room done. Well, I guess with the situation I am in now I hope Ben can get all this done!
Bens Dad is coming next week to help out with some of the stuff that needs to be done, and just to visit. It will be so good for Ben to see his Dad, he has been excited about it for days.
So here is some more, but maybe a little less drama packed as my last week!
When Ben and I found out we were pregnant, we started thinking about our home, and how we were going to fit 2 more little people in it. When we moved here both of us were pretty bummed. We had a great house in TX, and it would have had PLENTY of room. In fact, we already had a “baby room” that would have just needed to be done up a little.
Here is a little different story. Apparently houses in TX are cheaper than houses in WA. We had to pay quite a bit more money for less house. So back to the dilemma. We really do have enough space, we are just picky and want what we want!
We have 2 bedrooms plus the master. Ben was using one as his office, and the other one is a guest bedroom. And we don’t live by family, and we really like them to visit. So we did not want to eliminate our guest bedroom. So we had to figure out where to put all the office furniture. So we have a huge desk/organizer that took up two whole walls in the bedroom, another smaller desk, and two roller chairs to fit somewhere else. So we reorganized the living room by adding all the bookshelves that were in the dining room, and moving the table a little closer to the door to be able to move the office furniture into the dining room. It is tight, but it all works.
So then it came time to fix up the office to be the new guest bedroom. Little did we know when we started…it became a huge job.
We knew that the previous owners had let their dogs sleep with their girl, and their dogs I do not think got “let outside” enough, because of the smell in that room. It had never been TERRIBLE, we just knew that we wanted to do what we could to eliminate it. So Ben cleaned the carpets…once…twice…three times, and all I can say is cleaning the carpets actually made it worse. So we had no choice we had to rip out the carpet and replace it.
Since the floor is also wood, we then had to buy some sort of “special paint” to paint the floor to make sure that the urine did not then come up from the floor boards into the new carpet.
We were always planning on re-painting the room because it was a nasty shade of blue (if pepto bismal was blue…the color of this room is what I would imagine it would look like).
BEFORE
So Ben works his butt off getting the carpet ripped out, the stuff painted on the floor, then we went and picked out paint for the walls, and he got that painted. (He is such a stud!)
AFTER
So in the meantime, we have been accumulating baby gear, and had to move all the stuff out of the office room into the spare room. So the spare room is a heaping pile of stuff!
SPARE BEDROOM
And the garage is a heaping pile of stuff too! So I have added some pics to show our before, our after, and our mess!
GARAGE
We are hoping that we can get the babies room done. Well, I guess with the situation I am in now I hope Ben can get all this done!
Bens Dad is coming next week to help out with some of the stuff that needs to be done, and just to visit. It will be so good for Ben to see his Dad, he has been excited about it for days.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Update
The Fetal fibronectin test came back positive, which is not a good thing. But they said my cervix is still closed, and has stayed the same length for a few days, so they let me go home to bed rest.
I have an appointment this Friday, and I am not sure what they are going to do. I do know they are going to do another ultrasound and check my cervix length, and the girls growth, but if all is not well, I am really not sure what the next steps are.
I am still having consistent contractions, but they expected this, and as long as they are not getting stronger, or causing other issues, they are fine.
They did give me the steroid shots while I was in the hospital for the girls, so that is one good thing. At least we will have that advantage if they decide to show up early. The Doctor originally told us that we need to at least make it to 32 weeks, to reduce any long term issues. So that is our next goal. We have 3 more days to make it to 32 weeks. Once we make that goal, our goal will be 34 weeks.
With the positive Ffn test, that may be stretching it, but it has been known to happen.
We just want to have these little girls come into the world as healthy and developed as possible.
Bed rest, and the meds they have me on are making me a bit crazy, and making poor Ben a little crazy too since he has to do everything! And then I want him to do it my way because all I can do is sit and watch. :) geez poor kid.
I have an appointment this Friday, and I am not sure what they are going to do. I do know they are going to do another ultrasound and check my cervix length, and the girls growth, but if all is not well, I am really not sure what the next steps are.
I am still having consistent contractions, but they expected this, and as long as they are not getting stronger, or causing other issues, they are fine.
They did give me the steroid shots while I was in the hospital for the girls, so that is one good thing. At least we will have that advantage if they decide to show up early. The Doctor originally told us that we need to at least make it to 32 weeks, to reduce any long term issues. So that is our next goal. We have 3 more days to make it to 32 weeks. Once we make that goal, our goal will be 34 weeks.
With the positive Ffn test, that may be stretching it, but it has been known to happen.
We just want to have these little girls come into the world as healthy and developed as possible.
Bed rest, and the meds they have me on are making me a bit crazy, and making poor Ben a little crazy too since he has to do everything! And then I want him to do it my way because all I can do is sit and watch. :) geez poor kid.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
What a week
We went to the specialist on Friday and did all the specialist things to check the babies, and he said that while they are small, he is not too concerned. They are not dangerously small.
That is the great news. Here is the not so great news.
My cervix has now shorted from 2.6 to 1.3cm. So the specialist called my doctor and they decided that it was time to put me on bedrest. It was a pretty stressful day. I had gone to work early, then gone to the doctor, then had to go back to work for just a bit since they were putting me on bedrest to clear up just a very few things.
We got home and I had been having contractions on and off all day that day but they were starting to get kind of bad. So I laid down for a couple of hours and drank two large glasses of water. Unfortunatly it did not work, and the contractions got harder and closer together. So off to the Birthing center for us. We thought we would get there and they would give us the same treatment as last time, just a shot of something, and that would take care of it.
But no...they admitted us, and they have kept us here in the hospital all weekend. They had me on an IV of Magnesium all weekend, which makes the contractions stop, and makes you feel terrible. They finally got the contractions to be far enough apart for comfort this morning that they took me off of the Magnesium IV, and off the monitors for a while. They have me on another medication 3 times a day to keep the contractions stopped but it is a pill, so I can actually move around a little bit without being hooked up to all those things. They still hook me up about 3 times a day for an hour to monitor the babies and my contractions, but this is so much better.
They are saying that if we can keep the contractions at a minnimum overnight, and they will take another Fetal Fibronectn test and if it is negative, they will let me go home.
But I will be on bedrest. I will have to have poor Ben do pretty much everything for me. That is going to be hard. Dont know how I will do stuck in one spot. But I am sure that I will be fine, and it will be so worth it to get home, and then to keep these girls where they need to be for a few more weeks.
That is the update. Hopefully it will be good news tomorrow.
That is the great news. Here is the not so great news.
My cervix has now shorted from 2.6 to 1.3cm. So the specialist called my doctor and they decided that it was time to put me on bedrest. It was a pretty stressful day. I had gone to work early, then gone to the doctor, then had to go back to work for just a bit since they were putting me on bedrest to clear up just a very few things.
We got home and I had been having contractions on and off all day that day but they were starting to get kind of bad. So I laid down for a couple of hours and drank two large glasses of water. Unfortunatly it did not work, and the contractions got harder and closer together. So off to the Birthing center for us. We thought we would get there and they would give us the same treatment as last time, just a shot of something, and that would take care of it.
But no...they admitted us, and they have kept us here in the hospital all weekend. They had me on an IV of Magnesium all weekend, which makes the contractions stop, and makes you feel terrible. They finally got the contractions to be far enough apart for comfort this morning that they took me off of the Magnesium IV, and off the monitors for a while. They have me on another medication 3 times a day to keep the contractions stopped but it is a pill, so I can actually move around a little bit without being hooked up to all those things. They still hook me up about 3 times a day for an hour to monitor the babies and my contractions, but this is so much better.
They are saying that if we can keep the contractions at a minnimum overnight, and they will take another Fetal Fibronectn test and if it is negative, they will let me go home.
But I will be on bedrest. I will have to have poor Ben do pretty much everything for me. That is going to be hard. Dont know how I will do stuck in one spot. But I am sure that I will be fine, and it will be so worth it to get home, and then to keep these girls where they need to be for a few more weeks.
That is the update. Hopefully it will be good news tomorrow.
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